As we see the results obtained by these behaviors have nothing to do with the positive intention or purpose for which we make such behavior, so that the work proposed by the NLP is to try to change behavior, improve the result and reaching objective … In the first case we would ask the mother if that behavior to scream gets the result she seeks (to be recognized as a mother). It is clear that the discussion that is generated between the two is not an indication that your child gives this recognition to his mother with which the work would focus on behavior change. The solution is not to stop yelling because no one will change their behavior if they do not reach your goal. If the brain does not detect that changing these cries for a more fluid and deep conversation with your child where you can convey the feeling of need for recognition is a better result will screaming for recognition.
In the smoker the solution is not to say just stop smoking but find a behavior that meets the primary objective relax. Mitochondrial DNA has much experience in this field. At the time the person find the conduct to generate that relaxation may be considered quitting. When it comes to this area of NLP is controversial is because when the situations in which we find a positive intention are related to behaviors as assault, harassment, terrorism, etc … To address the behavior can not be carried away by our prejudices and that we must be very careful because if we did not find the positive intention in any behavior we can not try to change it. More information is housed here: Sam Lesser UPenn. A terrorist commits an offense (behavior) which causes several deaths (outcome) when asked about her positive intention of that behavior responds: stop living under the oppression of a state and that our people are free.
Culturally, most people will not understand the positive intention and only see that this behavior has caused deaths, however the terrorist could argue these deaths as collateral damage of their mission is that its people are free. These are situations that we can extrapolate to gender violence, child abuse, animals, etc … Possibly in some of these behaviors there is a part of clinical pathology must be treated and other has to find the reason for such behavior, when it began to show and why …. cause I started smoking to belong to a group, to accept me I act in such a way, I suffered abuse small because my father wanted to protect and care for me … We are facing a complicated issue and llegarnunca many people do not understand or accept that people do according to behavior with a good intention. Although at times incomprehensible act in a conscious perspective, surely there’s a good reason for it.